A Thursday alone.

The Roman theatre was shaped with a half circle or orchestra space in front of the stage. Most often the audience sat here in comfortable chairs. Occasionally, however, the actors would perform in this space.The audience was usually more interested in their favorite actors than the play itself. The actors would try to win over the audience's praise with decorative masks, costumes, dancing and mime. If the play scripted an actor's dying, a condemned man would take the place of the actor at the last moment and actually be killed on stage. The Romans loved the bloodthirsty spectacles. During the Renaissance a prominent Italian family built their home on top of the Ancient Theatre for added protection.

I've been sleeping too much lately. Yesterday I slept until 2 and today I woke up at 8 and took a two hour nap later. Spencer left this morning around 10 and I cried in my loneliness and felt pathetic. Its not so much that he's gone, it's knowing that with the end of the holidays and the beginning of the second semester, I know that an answer is due. I know that we'll have to figure out what to do, be it stay together or end it, or something somewhere in the middle. I find myself terrified of making the next move. Loving someone so much and not knowing if you're able to keep them...

I went to the Crepery and had a Crepe Suzette and a hot chocolate. Read a lot about Italy and the Italian ways. Did you know the Romans invented concrete? Also, if you are a woman, you cannot legally be "raped" in bluejeans because they are "so tight that removing them almost indefinitely requires consent." Note to self: no bluejeans.

I came home for a bit only to find that Curtis had bought a German Shepard puppy. He asked me to go with him to Petco and grab some supplies, so I obliged and we took a trip with the dog. She is so cute, and I think a dog will be good for him. CJ and I might go over to his place later tonight and watch 300 on the giant television he has in his living room.

I was thinking a lot of thoughts today. I was thinking about the law of attraction, and how I never really apply it to my life. I can relate to the comment made on The Secret about most people believing their life is on default, and that everything happens by chance. I'd like to believe otherwise, but optimism is so hard when you're so afraid of change, and so attached to certain forms of comfort. I realize, once I'm alone, how hallow I am on the inside and how unstable my feet are below me. I'm afraid of the next month. I'm afraid to be depressed before I leave. I'm afraid to have high hopes.

My hands smell like puppy. My house is so quiet. I think my roommate is nocturnal. Three completely different thoughts in one paragraph.