Charlie bit my finger.

I'm curious. Why can't every day be International Women's Day? AND why don't we celebrate this holiday in the States? Yesterday I went to Campo dei Fiori again for food and color and the buzz of the mingling people that makes me grin and was pleasantly surprised by all the polite treatment I received just for being a woman. As if, on this one day, being a woman meant something. The same man that would, today, be trying to grope me or come at me aggressively was offering to weigh my bananas and introducing himself with a handshake. I am not sure how to feel about it. It's precious, sure, but it's also a bit of an insult. I don't want to be honored once a year. I want the right to be treated kindly by men every day, for no particular reason other than it being respectful. We're all on the same playing field, but I don't think that will ever be realized.

Anyway, the market at Campo was lovely, as it usually is. People were selling the bright yellow flowers that come out on Women's Day and so I bought some to show (obviously) my support. I bought fresh tomatoes, two hunks of mozzarella, bananas and some peach juice. There were a lot of people out and about. A lot of the monuments and museums were free for women, and I wish that Angelica and I wouldn't have arrived at the Colosseum 10 minutes after it closed so that we could have taken advantage of the discounts. Instead we went to a Renoir exhibit near the Forum for 5 euro. Worth it but also a bit rushed, as I had to get back home and make dinner for friends. I made a tomato and mozzarella salad drizzled in olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper and topped with fresh basil. Grilled chicken and pasta, red and white wine, good friends and a few good laughs and full bellies. We went for gelato afterwards, don't worry. I had a mixture of hazelnut, english cream(?), and of course, nutella (I can't stay away from it). Later Becky, Julie and I wandered over to a bar near Termini but left shortly after finishing our drinks because we were cold and tired and...tired. I fell asleep promptly.


Friday I went to Ostia Antica, a well preserved ancient city outside of Rome. It would have been a lot more enjoyable had it not been cold and raining. I think I'll go back and enjoy the ambiance when it's sunny. Liz and I went to Trestevere. She cut my hair before we left so it's a bit shorter now and I looooove it.

Friday morning I was shoved off the Metro at Termini and watched my favorite, beautiful red hat fall between the train and the platform. I was heartbroken, and I spent the whole day trying to let go of the incident, convinced my hat was ripped to shreds somewhere between Termini and Laurentina. On the way home, I spotted my hat on the opposite side of the tracks and was therefore launched back into my intense mourning. My poor hat...looking lonely and pathetic. Yesterday Becky said, "You can't look at it every day and be sad." So, in an act of bravery, she risked her life for me, jumped down onto the tracks (despite my desperate opposition) and grabbed my hat. We were immediately confronted by angry ATAC guards, but it was so anticlimactic since the woman yelling at us didn't speak any English and so all she could get out was, "You can't! Not again!" So we got off with a slap on the wrist, my hat, in perfect condition, and a good story.

Now it's Sunday evening and I've spent the day inside reading, eating and giggling with my roommates. I should have gone outside but I was so comfortable in my room, and I didn't really have anywhere to go because everything here closes on Sundays. I tried doing a bit of travel planning for the next month. I was invited to go to Chinque Terra but declined so I can save money for something I feel a bit more sure about. I've given up on Interlaken until Stacy and I go there because it's just too expensive without a pass. I think maybe we'll make a trip in early May to somewhere warm. By we, I meant Caitlin and me.

I am doing a lot of self searching, and I'm trying to become a better person. That sounds so bland. What I mean is, I feel so uninspired, despite my location in this amazing city and my sense of adventure. I just feel inhibited and washed out and a little empty. I feel like I'm waiting for someone to come along and make my trip what I wanted it to be. I've gotta kick my own ass and remind myself that this is my own trip and no one is going to make it what I don't. I feel, in a way, like I still don't know who I am. By that I mean I am still in a state of constant self criticism, self doubt and self pity. I am not comfortable just being me, I suppose, and I wish I felt inspired by my own being.

Really, the goal is to be happy. I can't really define exactly what I'm looking for but I know it's gotta be within me somewhere. Within me and out there in the skylines and landscapes. I'll let you know when I get there and what I find. In the mean time, I'm still a work in progress. Maybe that will never change.

Spring break comes in a little over a week. My grandma is coming on Monday the 17th and we are leaving the following Monday for Vienna and then we will travel to Prague. I am excited to have family here. I am excited to go outside of Italy. I am excited to take the train!

Well, tomorrow is another Monday and they are so long. Tuesday is longer, though, so I can't complain too much...until it's Tuesday.

Watch this video. It will make your day : http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

Another Pope Sighting.

Yesterday we attended the 6th European Day for University Students at the Vatican. The pope was in attendance, and although the whole process took three hours, we were blessed by him and connected to University students from all over the world via satellite, including students in Washington D.C. It was really neat. There were so many people packed into this church. A lot of nuns, of course, as there are so many here in Rome. Its nice to be in a room with the Pope. It's not so much that I feel a connection to him or his religion, but it's really neat to feel the electric energy that bounces off the walls when he enters the building. People go crazy. Here, he is everybody's favorite celebrity, and they were chanting his name as he walked off stage, waving graciously.

This week has been a short one. We have located a sushi restaurant near our house that I will be indulging at frequently. Cheap and fresh seafood. Count me in.

I've spent that last two days trying to organize my trips across Europe with Stacy. It's hard to do because a lot of trains, although I have a Eurail pass, require that I make reservations ahead of time, as well. Otherwise, they fill up and I don't get a seat. Unfortunately for us, there is a small charge for reserving seats on a train, and I have to do it in person at Termini. But, I can't do it until 30 days before the train departs. So, I've got some time, but I need to schedule and book the hostels we will be staying in. I am so excited but so drained by the whole situation. It is so hard to plan a trip when we are so far from one another. But, I am really thrilled about going to Switzerland, as I am looking at pictures and hostels and already I am amazed by the scenery (and I hear the chocolate is good, too. Wink, wink. I'll have to bring some home for Grandpa...who'd have ever thought that I, instead of him, would be bringing home the Swiss Chocolate?). I was invited to go to Interlaken next weekend, but it's 200 euro, which is cheap, but I am already planning on staying there for two days with Stacy. The hostels are cheap and the people seem so friendly.

The people here in Rome walk so slowly. Maybe that's why they're always late, hm?

I almost had my wallet stolen a few days ago. We decided to stop at McDonald's for lunch (I know. Smack my wrist.). As we were eating, I set my wallet down on the table next to me. It was in my sight so I figured it would be fine. Before I know it, these two boys walk up to us and are trying to show us some post cards they have laid out on the table. Luckily, I realized that they had laid them OVER my wallet and were getting ready to walk away with it. I shooed them away and promptly put my wallet deep down into my bag and zipped it tightly. Earlier that day, Caitlin had discovered someone's hand in her bag on the Metro. Twice in one day. I suppose it's nice to have that out of the way, though. You live and you learn.

By the way, the fries were good and the shake was amazing. There...it's justified.

It's lovely outside today so I think I will spend some time on the porch doing homework. Spencer and I have a Skype date at 3 pm, and I have to continue planning my travels.

Caitlin is cleaning, Liz is asleep, as she just returned from Barcelona, and I am pretty content, although slightly anxious about the traveling and my homework. At least I got to see the Pope.

My weekend in Rome.

It was a long and eventful weekend.

Thursday at Scholars. Had a rough time getting back to the apartment, as the night buses can be difficult to navigate. As a woman, I've learned that asking directions from a man here is not a good idea. In fact, making eye contact or anything of the sort is apparently an invitation for courtship. So, we keep our gaze straight and our hands to ourselves and expect they do the same.

Friday morning Liz left for Dublin. I woke up as she was getting ready to head out the door, sleepy eyed and dragging her feet.

"Where are you going?!"
"? Dublin!"
"Oh yeah."

Caitlin and I decided that we would go exploring on Saturday. We mapped our route and decided we'd hit up the Vatican and St. Peter's Basilica, then head to the crypt of the Capuchin Monks. As we approached the Vatican, we were promptly funneled into a line of people entering the square through metal detectors and before we knew it our bags were being sent through security scanners. As we walked into the open square, we were met by thousands of people, all crowding together, and to our surprise, the Pope was out on the steps of the square, blessing people. He said a prayer and rode the Pope-mobile through the crowd, kissing babies and touching hands before disappearing back into the Basilica. What an honor!

After the random Pope citing, we went to the crypts. It was easy to find - right off the Metro line. I've come to love the Metro as it saves me a lot of time and effort in navigating the bus system. The crypts were completely decorated with human bones. Thousands of dismembered skeletons lie in pieces, piled to make a bed for fully assembled and clothed skeletons, some still wearing their skins. Lining the ceilings and walls are ribs and vertebra, pieced together to make almost pleasing designs. Eerily, dead monks stand behind a gate, holding crosses and looking out over the layer of dirt spread out before them, surrounded by skulls and thighs and arms. You can smell the damp dirt when you walk in to the cool chapel. It was one of the most bizarre experiences I've ever had.

We left the crypt and walked to the Trevi Fountain and watched people for awhile. I have a hard time getting over how HUGE the Trevi really is. We headed to Punto and did some grocery shopping before going home and getting a call from Marghi, asking if we would like to come to dinner at Ostiense. We headed over and were shocked and awed the by sheer size of their apartment, jealous and bitter about the one IES placed us in. We drank wine from a box - why, I'm not sure, as we're in Italy and wine is so cheap - and made pasta with shrimp. We sat around the kitchen table and chatted for hours. Cait and I headed home around midnight and slept until noonish the next day.

I woke up on Sunday to 70 degree weather and opened all the doors and windows to the apartment. I cleaned off the balcony so it may be of practical use now. It is no longer a closet for our cleaning supplies. No, those are in the hallway. I'd rather have a balcony than a hallway.
Cait and I left for the park of Villa Borghese around 2 and met some friends at Piazza del Popolo. We picnicked in the grass with homemade sangria, fresh fruit, bread, cheese and various meats. An interesting note about the Italians - not only do they wear an impressive amount of black and other dull, disinteresting colors, but they also wear their winter jackets and hats in beautiful, warm weather. I received the funniest stares in my flipflop sandals and my tank top. I wore green with a black and white striped skirt and people looked at me like I was an outlaw. It made me feel vulnerable and embarrassed until I remembered I didn't want to spend my day being self conscious.

After the sun went down a bit, the temperature dropped and we got chilly, so we left for home.

After class today I made an extremely unnecessary trek across town on the 61 bus in an attempt to make a meeting I was already 10 minutes late for (not my fault) and wound up in a strange part of the city where the scenery is ugly and littered with plastic bottles, matted paper bags and trashcans full to the brim. I decided I was better off simply heading back home. So I did, and I made myself pasta and talked with my mom (finally).


Today was a long day and tomorrow will be even longer with school. It was around 60 degrees but somewhat cloudy. I have homework to do yet, so I should get on that.

Campo

This morning I woke up and found the recycling bins near my house. Proud.
It's so warm out. I ventured in sandals and a sweater and felt just fine. I took the 40 to the city and went to Campo Dei Fiori around 1 for the market. It was lovely and scary and colorful. I say scary because I had no idea how to bag anything, let alone communicate with the vendor. So much fresh produce. So many vegetables and fruits. I think what I'll do is read up on Italian cooking, make a list of things I need and return later this week with a mission, instead of wander like a lost puppy. Today I bought a lot of strawberries for 3,50 euro and 10 white tulips for 8,00 euro. Lovely. Everyone bustling about between vegetable stands, bagging their apples and green leafy things while the statue of Giordano Bruno observes from above. I sat on the fountain with my strawberries and watched for awhile. It was picture perfect.

Last night we went to Scholars and had a few drinks. Elvis was there and he brought the mic over to us and we belted into it. We got lost on the way back, clueless as to how to use to night buses and hoping it would be just as easy as the day routes. Wrong. We went in one big circle on the N2, from Termini to the Colosseum and back, all the while being followed by two men we had earlier asked directions from. "Termini?" "Piazza Bologna?" Anyone? No one seemed to know, and when they did, we didn't know how to understand their directions. Finally we made it back to the apartment and slept well until 11 this morning.

I'm not sure what my plans are for the rest of the day. I really miss my mom and I would love to talk to her but we're having phone issues. Imagine that. And I really miss Spence and I'd love to talk to him, too. I need to plan my spring break and some other upcoming trips. I'd really love to travel, but I don't want to do it alone, so I need a buddy. We'll see. For now, I'll just eat some cookies with nutella.

Wednesday.

Ciao ciao ciao! Yesterday we saw the Roman Forum. It was a quick trip on the 40 from the IES center to the Piazza Venezia, and the Forum was just a short walk from there. It was breath taking. Did I mention we went for a class "field study?" My art history class has a lot of those, as does my Roman history course. We go to the locations that we are studying and get to talk about it while its in front of our eyes. I'd like to go to the Forum on my own and just wander and stare, without having to strain to hear what my professor is saying.

After that, I went to Scholars, an Irish pub with a few friends and had a beer. It was nice. We had nachos, too. Hey, we all need a little break from the culture shock sometimes.

My political science class met for the first time last night and it sounds interesting. I wish it weren't so late, but then again, the city is lovely by night time. I'm excited to learn about the Italian political system. The elections will be held while we're here. In fact, they're held on my birthday.

Today I had only one class - Italian - at 2:30. I slept in and took it slow this morning. While I was walking to the metro and chomping on a ham and cheese sandwich, a little old man, out for a stroll with his little old dog, said, "Buon appetito!" to me as I passed. I knew then it was going to be a nice day.

I came home after class and spoke with my Cafe Abroad editor. I tossed out my story idea and he tweaked it here and there. We came up with the idea of a photo essay about all the monuments that are currently under restoration. I feel good about it and I'm glad that I'm being aggressive with my ideas. I think our group is finally meeting next week. Hooray!

I spoke with Spencer earlier today on Skype. He bought us Tom Petty tickets for my birthday. I am, to say the least, THRILLED. I cannot wait. It's scheduled for July 3, the day before one of my all time favorite holidays.

Yesterday I received two letters - one from my dad containing my new ATM card, and one from Chris from the Deli. I was so excited all afternoon. And I finally figured out how to use the Italian postal system, so I will be sending many more post cards from now on.

I'm feeling more adjusted and a little more optimistic. I think tomorrow I'll explore a bit here and there. I'd really like to go to the Vatican again. I find it romantic and mind blowing. Next weekend the Pope is addressing local university students and I get a free ticket. I'll let you know how it goes, but I feel it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I get to be an audience for the Pope!

What else?

The Metro is increasingly stinky every time I get on it. I think I'll start taking the 62 in to the city on a more regular basis. It takes me from Piazza Bologna straight to the Castel San'Angelo. Therefore I can avoid the Metro and its crowds.

Well, tomorrow is a new day. A Thursday, at that. Almost three weeks down. Where should I go for Spring Break? Any suggestions.

Ciao.

The semester begins.

Today was decent. I give it a C+ for its ups and downs. Right now I'm listening to NPR on my computer - morning edition. I'm not sure what day it's from, probably yesterday, as its not morning here or in Indiana. It makes me feel a little bit comforted and a little more comfortable here.

We had our first day of real classes today. I wanted to leave a little early so I could eat a quick breakfast before class, so we left around 8 in order to get there at 8:45. Class started at 9 and we got to the IES center at 9:10, thanks to the rush hour traffic on the Metro. In fact, we tried twice on two separate trains to pack ourselves like sardines into the already overstuffed cars before finally forcing ourselves onto the third train as to not to be TOO late. Tomorrow, we leave earlier.

The first few hours of class were hectic for me. I started the day not really enrolled in any classes at all and just attending the ones I wanted to be in. My name wasn't on any of the lists so I was never actually called for attendance, and it made me uneasy. I'm not used to that sort of disorganization. I like knowing exactly what's going on and exactly how I'm going to approach it. I started in a history course called Italy in the 20th Century. My professor reminds me of my grandpa only Italian. He is nice, and he seems to harbor a lot of information in his head. I'm eager to learn about Italian history and culture. I'm taking another history course called The Roman Empire: history and myth. How enticing! I wandered into my art history class and found a seat, surprisingly. The room we were assigned to was one of the smallest in the building, and yet this particular class was one of the largest offered. So we were, again, packed like sardines. It seems like IES is just kind of winging it, since this is such a new building and a new way of going about things. I tried to stay calm, despite my growing urge to scream and/or have a nervous break down.

By noon, everything was worked out and I FINALLY had a schedule. Diane, a guidance counselor pulled some strings and got me enrolled in both history classes AND the art history class. I'm also enrolled in a political science class which I haven't been to yet. It starts tomorrow. I have two "field studies" this week. I'll tell you about them later.

I am still coughing, unfortunately. It's somewhere in my chest, this rattling.

It was chilly today. I wore my new jacket to the grocery. I miss having someone bag my groceries for me. How pathetic.

Between classes, I wandered down to the Nero Caffe and had a cappuccino and a panino. Then I realized they had pancakes and so I played the American role and ordered some. They were 4 euro and not very big, but there were three of them and they were delicious. Exactly what I needed after a stressful morning of travel and class. The cameriere (waiter) brought me this funny off brand American syrup, and on the front it said, "2% real maple syrup!" I laughed and tried in my broken Italian to explain it to him but he didn't get it so I giggled to myself over my delicious American breakfast. It's hard to go without a little bit of relief from the vague Italian breakfasts. I'm sick of cornetti (croissants). What I would do for a bagel...

Costa Rica wants to be carbon neutral by 2021. Wow. Nature air - the world first carbon neutral airline. Interesting. What if the entire country was carbon neutral? What if everything was carbon neutral? I love NPR.

I wish I could start in with my Cafe Abroad internship. I'm not sure where the group is, but the learder, Michelle, hasn't gotten in touch with me for a meeting. I'm eager to get started.

Well anyway, I think I'll go do some reading. Ciao!

A down day.

One thing I've learned in the past few days is that a change in location does not indefinitely change your outlook on life. You can move across the world to a place where they don't speak your language, to city full of historical monuments, and still feel half empty. My troubles have followed me here. My boredom has come along with. My life feels generally the same, only I am without my friends and family, and without a comfort zone that extends beyond my apartment.

Today, everything is closed in Rome. It's a holy day, so not even the supermarket is open. I learned that the hard way and came home discouraged, but with a gelato. Yesterday I refused to stay in for another afternoon, so I went to the Vatican Museums and saw the Sistine Chapel. I really loved it. It was a different experience alone. I'm glad I did it, but it didn't leave me feeling inspired. I suppose that's what I came here looking for - inspiration. The most inspiration I've felt since I've been here is the kind I experience when I talk to my family and friends and Spencer. I'm bored a lot. I'm lonely a lot. I'm confused a lot and I'm uncomfortable a lot. And more often than I'd like, I am asking myself why I'm here. I don't feel depressed. I only feel detached and listless. I thought maybe the city would wake me up. I thought maybe a drastic change in scenery would light my fire. Maybe I'm going about it wrong. Is it bad that I don't FEEL like socializing?

I'm frustrated. I'm only two weeks in and already, I am fed up and dying to come home. I'm dying for the familiar, which is why I spend hours at a time at my computer, or reading a book I've already read. I'm waiting for the lightening to strike. I'm waiting for that moment when I don't feel so afraid or tired or alone or blank. I'm not sure what to do. Everyone said, "You're going to have such a good time!!!" What am I doing wrong? I'm tired of being alone all the time and I'm tired of not knowing how to navigate or communicate.

It's a test of stamina, being here. How long can one hold out before they have a mental break down?

I'm only being pessimistic. Tomorrow will be better. I promise.